Showing posts with label And For Daddy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label And For Daddy. Show all posts

Monday, April 26, 2010

Full Circle


Well, I've waited long enough to make this decision final and official - I'm moving back home to Singapore! :)

I'd say that there is a long list of reasons for me making this decision, but I'm going to just share the 2 most important ones with you:
  1. Family. I've been away for long enough.
  2. Music. This will be my 2nd "real" foray into music. But this time, I have fresh ideas, fresh perspectives, and (hopefully) my music and songwriting has developed & matured over the 6 years I was away from music as a profession.

To make a long story short...
The decision process:
I've always been very instinct-based/Spirit-led, and when I started to dream of Sg (and I'm not normally the type to get homesick) for no supposed reason, I started to wonder what was up.
So I kept my eyes and ears open for the "little signs" that God usually litters along the way - and sure enough, home was abeckonin'.

The time is right. It's now or never.

So come late June, I'll be back in Sg and raring to....
Though I'm surely going to miss friends here in Bangkok, and even the city itself (despite the political turmoil, this is still kinda my 2nd home).... it's going to be good to be with family and friends in Singapore again.

Monday, April 05, 2010

The Gym Song (ORIGINAL!)


*cheesy grin*
(note: You can share and/or download the song if you like it. Please like it...)



Quantcast

The Gym Song

Wake up, go to the gym
It's time to get yourself moving
No one else can do the right thing for you, but you.

Takes a little will power
Each time, you will get stronger
Keep your eyes set on the prize
and just move, MOVE!

I know that you're tired
everyone around you is too,
but if you just give up today
then what will we all do? So...

Wake up, go to the gym
It's time to get yourself moving
No one else can do the right thing for you, but you.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tonight's Bible Study - Mark 8:27-9:1


My notes/response/ponderings... about what the passage teaches us about Christ's identity and thus our spiritual walk with God:

1. Who is God?
2. What is He doing in my life / my world?
3. What does He ask me to do in response (to 1 and 2)?

And.... conversely...
1. What illusions do I hold about who God is?
2. What illusions do I hold about how He works in my life / this world?
3. Am I imposing my own ideas on what I think God is asking me to do, instead of simply obeying what He tells me to do?

Do I struggle and rebuke God when things don't go according to how I think they should go because I think I know how God should work?.... (Like Peter), and what is God teaching me about His character and HIS work - in relation to why I am here on earth?

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

It's beginning to feel a lot like...


... winter! YAY!

2 days ago, it started getting a LOT cooler here in Bangkok.
So cool, I haven't turned my A/C on in more than 24 hours!
In fact, I woke this morning feeling chilled, and couldn't simply reach for the A/C remote and turn the A/C off.... had to close the windows. Heh.


So here we are in November, and just an inch away from 2010.
How time does fly.

School is getting to the point where everyone is crazybusy.
Teachers and staff look a tad insane because all our wonderful activities are crushed into the small time-bracket left for 2009.

Things have really changed at my school. What positive changes they have been too.
Everyone is learning a whole lot, and our school is definitely progressing in an upwards fashion.



On a personal note, the last few weeks have been... overloaded.
To the point where I succumbed to a cold virus for the first time in years. Eargh.
Forgot how sucky it is to be sick. Hahhahaa...

Anyway, I'm rushing off to work in just a bit, but wanted to blog a few glimpses I've had this last week:

In reflecting about what is life, and -- if I had just 4 minutes left on this earth, what I would say...

LIFE

It's not about...
money
health
beauty
conveniences
possession
having people you love physically with you
relationships with family and friends
feeling like you FIT
being happy
or satisfied with life
and especially not SELF...

For all is meaningless... a chasing after the wind.


RATHER,
it's ALL about
getting to know WHO GOD IS

EVERYTHING experienced in this life
is for the sole purpose of learning about WHO GOD IS
and letting His Character teach and seep into
your OWN life...
your work
your relationships
your activities
your mental/emotional state...
such that it is merely an overflow
of WHO GOD IS.

In fact,
one lifetime is possibly not enough!
That is how immense GOD is!

And so - the meaning of life..,
is wrapped around the Heart of God.
For without Him,
ALL is meaningless.
But FOR GOD,
ALL has meaning.
Even death itself.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Where is my FAITH?


Crunch time.

It's an easy thing, when studying the Bible, to make conclusions and "learn" lessons... when they are so far removed from our own lives.
(Most recently, we've been studying the Parable of the Sower in Mark, which was followed by Jesus calming the storm.)

But when someone asks a question in my life... in response to a current issue... and it is straight out of the Book... I can't help but feel appropriately and adequately chastised.

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
(Mark 4:40)


The most difficult things in our lives that we have to deal with are old thought patterns, old fears, old habitual reactions.


A natural response to hurt is fear and avoidance (of any similar situation).
This causes a loss of hope.
Which essentially negates the presence of faith.

So one could say that fear of being hurt is at the crux of the matter.
We are simply not brave enough to have faith and allow ourselves to be broken by the Master in order to tear away all hurt.
It's a strange irony - that to take away hurt, one must first allow hurt.




So now I ask myself - Where is my faith?

Have I come full circle and not really learned anything?
Why am I so afraid?
Exactly WHO am I placing my faith in?
If I truly know and understand the God I put my faith in...., is it not a given that all hope is not lost?


Lord, change my perception.
Please.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

This is what I do...


Curious about what a Counselor does?
Well... wonder no more!

Stay abreast with what I do via my new Counseling (School) Blog:

Learning Life!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Becoming Strong. A.K.A Submissive.


Over the course of the week, I had some interesting chats with some friends.
One of the chats we had was about strength - how one can become strengthened by the Lord.

I've also been contemplating how God leads us from realization to obedience.

See, I've come to realize that the more you ask for the Holy Spirit's enlightenment in your life, the more you will receive. The little epiphanies will come fast and furious and you will be amazed at the amount of wisdom God showers down on you.
Wisdom about your own life and your place in His Kingdom.

But then... here comes the hard part - obeying what you now KNOW you need to do.


God does not lead us to "easy truths".
Many times the wisdom He imparts to us really, really hurt!
More often that not, we instinctively want to pull the reins of control back from Him and live life on our own terms again - despite knowing the havoc this will wreak.


So truly... the hardest part about God's wisdom is not so much understanding it... but OBEYING it.
Obeying Him.



I'm not the most submissive of people.
ANYONE who knows me can easily confirm this. Heh...
So lately I've been struggling with some simple truths and how to live these truths in my life - even when it goes against my headstrong nature.... especially when it goes against my habits and feelings.

The latest revelation that God has blessed me with is the understanding that "knowing" is not enough. Becoming aware of your shortcomings and need to change is just the first step.
The crunch is in "putting your money where your mouth is".
Even in the HARD stuff.
Because honestly, it's easy for us to claim the victories which come at little or no cost - the stuff that is easy for us to change and feel-good about.
The stuff that doesn't really break us.
Not really.



Yep... I've been struggling with some matters of obedience lately.
In terms of my temperament and instinctual reaction to daily matters... and even how I live my independent, now-swinging single life.

Then today, after struggling with 2 such matters and seemingly "overcoming" them, the Spirit whispered a gentle realization to me... about strength:

True strength, when faced with life's hardships and temptations, is not strength that comes about from my own person.
Rather... it is the strength that comes from God that helps me defeat trials.
Furthermore (and this is the important part), it is only in OBEDIENCE and submission that I am able to receive this strength.
So... ironically, I am strongest in the Lord when I am most obedient/soft/weak TO HIM.

What beautiful release this has given me.
God does his most powerful work in me when I simply surrender.
There's no need to struggle against the grain anymore... rather in learning to surrender my pride and old ways of doing things; old ways of thinking... I gain God's infinite power.


It is true what the bible says - I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.



Lastly, and most reassuringly, the Holy Spirit brings is able to bring a person from a hardened state... to realization... to humble obedience.
What a relief!
And what an amazing thing.
Just look how much God loves us - He brings us every step of the way.

All we need to do is ask Him to do it.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Break These Walls - FAN EXCLUSIVE DOWNLOAD!


For the first time, I'm making my music available for download!
Well, ok, just 1 song... but it's a start... AND it's free.

IF you're a fan.

All you have to do is sign up (for free) at ReverbNation.com/shimona and click on "Become a Fan", and you can download my most recent song, "Break These Walls".

Now that I'm really starting to work on my music, I really need and appreciate your support. I'll be making more videos and music available for download.
Also, if you're a fan, I'll occasionally be writing up about the stories behind the conceptions of selected songs. I'm not a songwriter by demand... I write what God inspires me to write.
So each song has a special story behind it.
That's coming up....


In the meantime, enjoy "Break These Walls". ;)

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Break These Walls


Tired of lying to all, even I don’t believe me
Make believe to the world that I’m doing OK
Why do I put on a show when I know that You hear me?
The only way out is if I just give in to Your power...

Break these walls
Lord and soften me
I need Your Spirit
Bend me and break me, oh...
I don’t know where You’re taking me
But now that I’m on my knees
Won’t You please help me?

I am no stranger to feeling so extraterrestrial.
Put up defences - I think I’m stronger than before
Learning the hard way should really just teach me a lesson.
This time I won’t wait – I’ll give in right now to The Lord...

Br:
Hands raised to Heaven
I offer my life oh-so broken
Put a stop to these thoughts racing inside my head.
God of the Heavens I know You supply all the answers
So take me and piece me together in a way You see fit.




Lyrics & song written on Aug 1st, 2009.

Related/Partly inspired by THIS blog entry.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Mindfulness & Thankfulness


The last few days I've been leading out morning meditation exercises for our school's Staff Training sessions. Then tonight, while fighting to focus on some difficult positions in Hot Yoga , I was reminded of some very important life lessons.

I will share two of them with you today.



First and foremost is mindfulness.
Simply put, paying attention selectively.

Modern society bombards the individual with a myriad of (sometimes useless) stimuli. Nevermind that naturally, our senses are already on overload, nowadays we also have to contend with technology, the media, traffic. Ha!

And then we wonder why we have so much difficulty focusing on the things that matter.
Well, firstly, each person's brain is made, developed, and used uniquely. And the differences in the activation of our brain often causes differences in our overt behaviours - whether we are aware of it or not.

Hence I cannot stress enough the importance of intentionally selecting what we pay attention to and practising keeping that attention on that one thing.
This can range from simply paying attention to a simple task one is carrying out, to writing a long essay, critically solving a difficult problem.

Without attention, there is no processing, no retention, and no recall.
In other words, no learning.
Ok, perhaps there is not a complete absence of learning... since our cells can still learn and remember things on a physical cellular level.

How to practice paying attention you ask?
Well, there are many ways.
Just the simple awareness that you want to pay more attention sometimes is half the battle won.
Start noticing when you "tune out" and make an effort to pay more attention whenever you are presented with a familiar "tune out" situation.

For example, when someone is telling you a long story about what happened on the way home today... You suddenly find yourself drifting off, wondering what you should eat for lunch, who sent you an email, what book to read tonight before going to bed...
Instead, once that person starts telling a story, tell yourself to pay attention.
Actively look at the person, try to visualize what he/she is saying...
The more you do it, the easier it will become!

Next, there is meditation. (Of course I would get around to that at some point!)
When, in meditation, you start to block off all the senses one by one, you are selectively paying attention.
Next, keep talking to yourself, telling yourself to focus on the sound of your breath.
As your breathing gets longer, deeper, louder, and more rhythmic, you might find your mind wandering. Each time it does so, just acknowledge that it did, push the thought away, and continue to focus on the breath.
Patience.
Patience and lots of practice.

It is important to develop this ability to live life mindfully.
Without it, our lives would pass us by unknowingly and without purpose.
Living life with awareness is essential to living a rich purposeful life!




Now, this awareness of mindfulness brings me to the second important life lesson:
Thankfulness.

As you can see, the slogan of my blog is "Thankfulness is the Beginning of Happiness".
Sometimes the only hindrance to thankfulness is the lack of mindful appreciation.

If we take this time, for example, to examine the breath again.
What a wonderful, frequent and yet much taken for granted reflex/habit this is!
As you pay attention to your breath, you start noticing how it feels when you breathe in and out...
How do you feel if you stave off the inhale for a little longer than usual ?
You feel deprived and flooded with relief once you finally take in the air that you so long for.
The fact is that breathing is life-giving... and that we are such fragile creatures living in a fragile temporary world...

How ironic it is that we can so easily take each breath of life and not even realize it!
So when one practices mindful breathing, one can bring to the forefront a newfound gratefulness for life itself. A gratefulness to our Creator for giving us this Breath of Life.... and for sustaining it.
In addition, an awe that despite our shameful negligence to continually praise God for this ability to breathe, here we are... still alive, still breathing, still not realizing the importance of the breath.


What a generous, forgiving Lord we serve.
How undeserving we are.

And how great the concept of Grace truly is...
When approached with mindfulness and thankfulness.


I have just shared with you the source of my happiness... :)

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Why We Must Thrive


In the face of tragedy and despair, we often ask ourselves:
How will I survive this?

But is merely surviving enough?

Death is part and parcel of life.
So is suffering, pain, heartache, separation, and disease.
But to simply lie down and admit defeat to the infirmities of life would be totally unfair to our Creator.


With each successive brush with the issue of mortality, I have come to notice that there is a pattern in my reaction:

Shock
Anger
Grief
Despair
Numbness
More grief
Surrender
and finally, a passionate gusto to grab life by the balls and LIVE IT UP.

And then, quite possibly, the cycle repeats at a lower intensity.

Each person reacts seemingly differently, and yet there are distinct similarities.
For those who must continue our journey can only do so by finding a reason.



Life needs a purpose.
You cannot just live it blindly.
But you don't need to sweat it either.
Because sometimes all you need to do to find that reason to live your life... is to take one breath at a time.



****


When I first heard the news of Edwin's demise a few days ago, I went into immediate shock and denial.
But when grief finally found me, the only way to drive it out was to cry out to God for peace.
And it came.
As sure as the next morning.


I fear for those who think they have to bear the grief alone.
For that is entirely untrue.
The biggest lie you can EVER tell yourself is that you are alone.
We are more alike than you can imagine.
You and me.
Our hearts break with the same intensity.
They just do not appear to be the same sometimes.
But in reaching out to one another, we can find solace.

That is why God created communities.
That is what the church is all about.
In this close-knit, albeit imperfect network of human relations, we find our purpose in life - to learn to love each other, to enrich others' lives.... to bear with each other.
To give and receive.

And in that act, somehow, we will not just survive, but thrive.

****


Rest in peace Edwin. Till we meet again...

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

My New Ride!


Been just a flurry of activities since I got back to bkk.
At first, it felt kinda strange and slightly depressing (the night I got back) - being suddenly all alone, after having the company of my parents for the last month.... but I think I'm adjusting back to being alone again.

Proof that despite my extrovertness, I am a true introvert - I love my space and alone-time. :)



So... yesterday, with the help of a friend from church (thanks Bun!), I managed to purchase a brand new Yamaha Fino! And of course He christened it with showers of blessings from above as soon as we bought it and Bun drove it back to my place from the store. Heh.

Without further ado, I give you.....
FOXY FINO!!!


Ain't she a beauty? :)
Complete with cute box & tiny windshield. Ehehehehe....
I decided on brown despite being tempted by a sexy hottt pink one... cuz I figured the less attention I draw to myself/mybike the less likely to be pulled over by cops and the less likely bike thieves will try to steal my bike. (YES, I bought a chain lock too - u can see it in the pic if u look closely.)
Anyway, brown is totally retro... AND it's the colour of CHOCOLATE. How can u beat that????

Now... before you get all paranoid and give me the too-familiar lecture about how dangerous driving around bkk is... lemme just say - Foxy Fino is a neighbourhood fox. No main roads or highways. Only back sois. I even bought a Bangkok street map (it's a thick book not unlike the Singapore Street Directory) to map my way around the little sois behind my house.



Now, you'll have to excuse me - it's time to explore the neighbourhood and have some lunch! :)

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Imperfect Perfection.


Some of the most beautiful music I've heard is not perfect.
Like a note sung slightly too high.
Or an intake of breathe too audible in a vocal track.
Or one pizzicato-ed note just out of time.
In fact, without the little hiccups that are barely detected, the song would somehow not be as perfect.
You know what I mean?


So it is, I believe, with our relationships.
It is in the imperfections of our own characters...
... and the imperfections in which we interact with each other
that we are made some kind of perfect whole.

Thus the idea of community.
Thus the idea of love.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Heartprints


As I browsed through my friends' profiles on facebook, I felt a familiar sentimental tug.

Yes, people do come in and out of our lives, but then there are the handful, who, despite making a so-called "exit", still remain in our lives.



The challenge is keeping up with everyone's lives.

As our paths cross, part, and continue to meander along in life... sometimes it feel as if we are more than those physical seas apart.

And then other times it feels as if we are not that far apart after all.

There is a fine balance to be sought.
(pardon this weird blog-entry. My thoughts are coming in drips and drabs and sporadically)
Keeping in touch is important.
Knowing what's going on in each others' lives, keeping conversation going, and yet... having faith that when conversation dries up, well, that the people we care about still care for us.


Lately though, I've been learning the importance of keeping up.
We are human beings after all... and yes, though we might just be able to "pick it up where we left off" whenever we meet up again,
the world is a big place, and the people we care for are many.

Why not drop an email or two, or skype each other now and then?
Rather than take for granted that "we'll meet some day and things'll be just like they were"....

Cuz things do change.
People get older.
Experiences wear us thin.
And those who "stay" in our lives are the ones whom we often really feel care for us.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Spinning Round to Stand Still...


Coming back home has been... interesting.

I've often talked about death - since my brother's...
But really, death is easy. Living is hard.

I don't mean that in a bad sense though.
I still firmly believe that though living is hard, it can be richly rewarding and joyful.
Living is a choice too.
Because one can be alive, but not truly be living.

Watching my grandma, who is in the final stage of cancer, and basically waiting to die (but aren't we all really?), I find myself wondering what it must be like for her to be on the brink of death... to have lived almost a century.
She lived through wars, an arranged marriage, and various other hardships.
Most of all, I remember the difference in her personality and outlook on life ever since she made the choice to follow God.

As our lives unfold, are we carried along as if by the currents of the sea?
Or do we learn to swim, enjoy the feel of the water, surf, boat... you get the picture/analogy. Heh.


I've had this song stuck in my head since the day b4 I came to Sg.
Then I found this YouTube vid of the song - representing the 3 stages of life a girl goes through.
I'd say every human being goes through.




When it's time to go, will I be ready?
But in the meantime, will I choose to live my life with passion, zest, and love?

I surely hope so.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Oh to be a kid again....


Brought my class and the whole lower elementary to the FUNARIUM (Yeah, I know right...? Who the heck came up with that name!??!) yesterday.




I've never been pulled (LITERALLY) by so many little hands in so many different directions at one time.
Up weird looking steps, down black-hole tunnels, across net-bridges, through small spaces, round and round and bouncing and..... you get the picture.

Oh! Just look at that!


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Give Credit Where Credit is Due.


In Bible study the last few weeks/months, we've talked offering God the sacrifice of praise... and of overflowing with thanksgiving always.

It's hard to always "praise" God... especially when things get rough.
Or is it JUST when things are rough?
How about when life is going seemingly swimmingly?


Lately, God is teaching me to truly sing His praises in all things - literally and figuratively.

When things are rough, I turn to Him... and cry out for healing.
In doing so, I realize how truly beautiful, powerful, and amazing He is!
And can't help but praise Him.... even before I get an answer - because I know it will come.


When things are going well, I bask in His presence.
Being saturated in The Word, and in His wisdom and spirit can only lead to me praising Him for any accomplishments I might have - hence keeping me grounded.
In fact, I can't HELP but overflow with His praises!

Did I really write that song?
No... God gave it to me, in a moment of true hardship and yearning.
And now I want to share it with whoever needs blessings from Him.



It really all comes down to a very simple concept:
The closer you are to Him...
the better you understand His Will for your life...
the more frequent those God-vision glimpses you get...
... the easier it will be to praise Him in all things - and give Him credit where it is due.

For He alone deserves it!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Death


A very interesting thought was presented during church last night.

How do you feel about death?
What do you think about when you think about heaven?


I must confess that I've been comforted by the thought of heaven - that I will see my loved ones again there. That there will not be pain or heartache or suffering anymore.



But truly, the point of heaven should be God.
And as a believer, if that be the case, I should see death as a mere doorway to seeing God again.

Simply put, death=meeting God "now".




We speculate that my brother, upon falling into the waters, had hit something and broken his neck, and died instantly - without realizing he was about to die.

I imagine that his next experience will be to open his eyes to the sight the reunion between us and God.

When I think about that.... it puts my heart at ease to let my grandma go.
That she will trade the suffering and pain of this life to walk through the doorway that will lead her to meeting God "sooner"... it is reassuring.




Heaven is about GOD.
Not about us.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Tragedy offers us the opportunity to learn and grow.


What on earth are we here for?

So often we tend to view our difficult situations or those painful experiences seemingly thrust upon us as excuses.
We become victims of circumstance, rather than an active participant in life.


Tragedies really are NOT fair.

I lost my only brother.
The only connection I will have in the world when my parents pass on.
Is that fair?

The man I promised my life to decided it wasn't worth it to fight for me.
Is that fair?

A couple's almost 2-year old drowned in their parents' swimming pool.
Is that fair?

A friend's brother's mind snapped and is now labelled as "crazy".
Is that fair?

These are merely the tragedies that have hit closest to home.
What about those people who have lost children or parents or siblings to war or natural disasters or disease or accidents?
Are any of these fair?


Resounding: NO.


Nothing in life is fair.

But instead of becoming a victim to these unfair happenings, we can choose to look at the "bright side" instead - what is life teaching me? How is this molding my character?

In talking to a friend last night, I realized that I've really really changed (mostly) in the last 2 years. Simply because of the toll tragedy has taken on my life.
Or rather, I should say, because of how I've let tragedy change me - for the better.


One night in early December 2007, I sat on the front porch of my empty house - just me and the stars.
I had just gotten back to Thailand from my brother's funeral in Singapore, and no one was at my house to greet me.
There were no comforting arms to hold me, no one to turn to.
I was utterly and completely alone.
And yet I didn't call a friend to come over to be with me.
I decided to fight my inner battles alone.

As I sat there on the porch in the quiet, somewhat still in shock over the week's happenings, feeling resentment and confusion at having been left to myself by my then-husband, I cried a little... but then slowly the tears dried up.

The stars were bright in the inky night sky, and I had a sense of smallness.
And suddenly... there He was.
The tear in my heart was lifted to the heavens... and I felt nothing but stillness and peace.
"Be still and know."





I cannot describe nor explain fully what happened that night.
All I know is that it was the beginning of a beautiful healing.
And the reason why my blog title was changed to what it is now - Happiness is a Choice.

Through tragedy, I discovered a person that was not there before.
Through hardship I learned to depend on no one else but God.
Through loneliness I found that I could still be happy regardless.


What do the tragedies of your life teach you?
 

Caught the Travel Bug...

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