Where Did You Go

Where Did You Go by Shimona


Almost 5 years ago, my brother, Reuben Kee, was one of five boys who drowned in a tragic dragon-boating accident in Cambodia.

A few days ago, I allowed myself some time to sit and miss him.

You see, when the event transpired, I was so clammed shut with emotions that I could not write.
Ironic, me being a songwriter and whatnot...

But inspiration is a tricky fella.
Almost 5 years later, I find myself remembering - the disbelief that he was really gone.
I think one of the most difficult things about death is that it usually happens suddenly... and well, lasts forever.

When my brother passed, I sometimes wanted to run away from my house.
The jarring "sameness" of everyday life was contrasted by the fact that nothing was ever going to be the same again.
I remember my mother being so devastated, she kept thinking he would just open the door and walk back into our house.

We've come a long way since then.
I strongly believe that it is not enough just to survive... we must also THRIVE.
Death is a fundamental part of life, and nothing on earth is permanent.
We took one step at a time, one day at a time..., and slowly but surely, we learned to live life again - without him.

But that hole is still very much there... still where he left it.

So this song is perhaps one of many other songs I shall write about the brother I miss so much.
Not with us anymore, but never forgotten.
We love you Reuben.

LYRICS:

Where did you go
when I turned around
you were there just a while ago

You walked along this life so strong
how could you suddenly be gone

And I am waiting for the moment
you return
I am waiting for the door to open
I am waiting to hear your voice
But where did you go, you're not here.

Where did you go
in the blink of an eye
you were gone and I did not know

I cannot see how you disappeared
from my life in a wisp of wind

Maybe someday I will understand
Maybe someday I will see
Why the Lord had to take you from me
but for now, you are gone, you're not here.

You Were Just Here

I'm trying not to think

how yesterday you were just here.

And our words drew aimless circles round our faces

while we sat mere inches apart.

And now you're not.

You're there.

And I can only savor the shadow of you

And look at pictures and dig out memories...

of laughter and sunshine.

Dancing and eating.

Talking and crying.

Where our paths have crossed I believe flowers grow now.

Because the seeds of our friendship have long since taken root.

They nestle in my heart and remind me of

the warmth of your love and acceptance.

Gifts that money cannot buy,

time cannot replace.

So now you are there

and I am here...

and I can do nothing to bring you near.

Yes, we will walk on...

our separate paths.

We are both strong women

with happy hearts.

We will take what life gives us

in abundance and in strife

We will remain essentially

US.

To friendship.

To Krung Thep.

To life and to love.

To the One who provides us all from above.

To the hardships we know must surely come.

To strength and wisdom to meet them

... and grace when all is done.

To Bali, ma chère.

We will meet again.

Sing a song about faith....

I want to tell you about a song I recorded today.

I wrote this song a little more than a year ago.
It's called "A Promise is a Promise".

At the time that I wrote it, I wrote my excitement and fears about leaving Bangkok to move back home to Singapore.
The words spoke of a promise that was to be claimed - a strength that could be grasped in times of fear and doubt.

Last week, as I practised this song in preparation for today's studio recording, I realised how much more apt it was for my current circumstances.

Please don't think I am complaining.
I am not.
I am simply stating this:
It is insanely difficult struggling to make a living as a musician/singer in Singapore.
Why?
There are so many factors that I could site.
But I'd rather not get into that....
Just suffice to say that this is possibly the one trade you can be fantastically good at but still, hardly anyone will pay for your services/product.


ANYWAY....

Given these tough circumstances, and set it beside the fact that SINGAPORE IS AN EXPENSIVE PLACE TO LIVE IN...., and what do you get?
STRESS.


The point is - music is my full-time job.
I'm not in it for the money.
Never was.
I'm in it because I love music so much.
And somewhere along the way..., the industry, the lack of support, the brutal truth of reality - started to eat away at my faith in myself.
"If I'm really good at what I do, why aren't I succeeding?"

BUT.
Back to the song...

As I practised - sitting in my room, plucking at the guitar strings, legs crossed sitting on my bed - just like when I started out learning to play the guitar.. sitting on my bed at night, plucking and singing...,
I realised - the song isn't so much about a promise as it is about FAITH.

The focus isn't about the promise to be claimed at the end.
It's about how DIFFICULT faith can be during times of trouble.
How even when you don't FEEL like you're worth it..., that you're good enough, that you DESERVE the beautiful promise..., that you can STILL hold on to that sliver of hope and KEEP THE FAITH.

"Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on to His promises...
they're true."

** "A Promise is a Promise" will be released online (only) as a Single before my album release. Stay tuned for more details as they come.

Outgrown...

I know - TWO blog posts in a week?

~~~

I should be sleeping.
But instead I'm thinking.
Not for any reason in particular.
The thoughts just sort of float and hover as I potter about my room.
And yet there they are - thoughts.

~~~

One thought in particular crystallized in my mind's eye:
We outgrow.
- clothes
- feelings
- tastes
- situations
- places
- people

See, I was browsing through a listing of TV series, and stumbled across "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".... and thought to myself -
'Gee, I used to LOVE this series!
Owned a couple of box set DVDs...
and hmmm... ended up selling them.....
and would I watch them again?
Actually, no.'

It's not just my TV-watching preferences that have changed.
I don't read the same books I used to when I was a teenager - I can hardly stomach those all-too cheesy romance novels these days. They're too full of fluff and fancy.

Growing up, I used to pick the "chang" (chopped spring onions) from my food.
Living in Thailand found me asking for extra spring onions!

When I was a kid, I'd order my cheeseburger without pickles.
Now I'd love it if there are extra!


In the (almost) year since I've been back in Singapore, I've come to realize that I've outgrown certain friendships.

BTW, I must make a note here - it's important you understand that my use of the word "outgrown" has no negative connotations - simply that things change.
And in this instance, I've realized that my preferences in TV, food, and books aren't the only ones that have changed over the years - my preferences for certain kind of friendships over others too, have changed.

~~~

On a side-note, I think I outgrew Bangkok.
And that is why I felt that it was time to move back to Singapore.
Not that one is better than the other.
Simply that for this period of time, this is what FITS.

The tides of life are ever-changing.
We must change with them.
We cannot fight change - we must see that there are different things and places and people that fit different periods of our lives....


OK. With that very "zen" thought..., I bid you all goodnight!

"One Last Try"

Last week when I was in BKK, my buddy Johnny and I were jamming.
He started playing a nice guitar rift, and suddenly turned to me and said "sing something to this".

Now, mind you, I was properly tired out - it was 1am(ish), and we'd been practising for the last few hours.
So as he played, I closed my eyes and sang the first few words that came to mind...

"Sitting in the dark, I wonder how. How it came to this - where we are right now..."

And thus a song was born.

I had no premeditated idea of what the song would be about.
It simply came to be.
And as I wrote the lyrics, a memory crystallized in my mind.
2007/2008 - those were two very dark, difficult years in my life.
Part of it was due to the tragic accident in which my younger brother passed away.
But the other part of it was the fact that my "happily ever after" had becoming a nightmare.

For a long time, I struggled and fought for a marriage that just wasn't meant to be.
And even till the point where I received the divorce papers... I truly believed that we could work it out.


I've moved on since then.
I'm still a happy person - I don't place blame, nor harbour regrets.
I simply decided to give myself a happy future.
But I never wrote a swan song for my marriage.


Recently, I learned that one of my friends is going through a divorce.
Empathy immediately flooded through my veins.
Not many people my age understand what it's like....


So when I wrote this song - I wrote it for myself.
And for all the broken people sitting on the brink of a big decision - to stay, or to go.

One Last Try

Sitting in the dark, I wonder how
How it came to this - where we are right now
I remember when our love was young and we thought we could.
But now we're stuck for words and we just can't figure out...

Is this goodbye or do we give it one last try?
Is this goodbye?
We cannot live a lie.
Is there something different this time?
Or is this goodbye?
Baby is this goodbye?

"Forever" was a word we thought that we could do.
If other people can, why can't we too?
Is it really so hard for us to stay in love?
Does it have to feel like work?
Have we lost track of who we are?

Is this goodbye or do we give it one last try?
Is this goodbye?
We cannot live a lie.
Is there something different this time?
Or is this goodbye?
Baby is this goodbye?

Leaves me cold and longing still...
for your warmth - I know I will
wonder if I leave you now...
Can I live without your love?
Or am I already living without?

Is this goodbye or do we give it one last try?
Is this goodbye?
We cannot live a lie.
Is there something different this time?
Or is this goodbye?
Baby is this goodbye?

At the turn of the decade....

Almost 10 years ago, we saw the turn of the millenium.
Now here comes another decade.

So to say hello to the TWENTIES and goodbye to ol' TWO THOUSAND..... (I'm pretty sure we're gonna be saying 20-10 instead of two thousand and ten.... and 20-11, 20-12, and so and so forth)..., here's my shortlist of remarkable things that I've experienced and learned in this past decade. (Good and Bad, and in no particular order)

1. Studied and moved to another country - quite unintentionally really - I was never one of those Singaporeans who grew up dreaming of fleeing the country.... it just sort of happened!
2. Tried out 3 entirely different professions - Musician (2001-2004), Teacher (2008-2009), and now Counselor (2008-present).
3. Got back in touch with some old schoolmates.
4. Got married...., and divorced. Yeah, no comment.
5. Lost a precious brother (2007). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reuben_Kee
   
6. Learned to treasure family better.
7. Reconnected (several times) with God..., and finally learning to push past discomfiture and find the intention behind the trials.
8. Reconnected with songwriting (2008)
   
9. Dabbled in different styles of singing (jazz, pop, folk, classical, choir-conducting)
10. Learned to dance - jazz (2003), Thriller (2009),and now salsa!
    
11. "Experienced" 9-11 (2001) in Canada (was an hour away from landing in NY, when our plane got rerouted to Canada)
12. Graduated twice - Business (2001), and Psychology and Education (2008) with honours!!
13. Got back into classical piano, culminating in a recital (2006).., but unfortunately losing momentum now because I have no access to a piano anymore. Yeeessshhh....
14. Taught myself how to film and edit video..., which led to the eventual conception of W51.TV (2009).
15. Learned to be a lot more open to new cultures, new ideas, new worldviews, and most importantly - new people.
16. Learned to when to let go and when to hold on. I hope.
17. Got pushed off a Bungee Jump (2009).
18. Learned a new instrument - ukulele..., and semi-learned: flute.
19. Became a little more organized - thanks Google Calendar! ;)
20. Experienced some crazy Finnish exploits - ice-dipping and the sort.
21. Joined Facebook (2006 I think). 'Nuff said.
22. Won a TV singing competition (2001)
23. Got into yoga (2004). Then hot yoga (2008).
24. Learned to drive a motorbike (2004).
25. Learned to love mountain-biking (2005). (Boy, do I miss that now!)

Now.... to be fair, here is my projection for myself - for the next decade.

1. Learn to and become at LEAST moderately good at dancing.
2. Get my act together musically - record and get stuff OUT there.
3. Find a way to help the underprivileged with my musical proceeds.
4. Gain stability monetarily.
5. LEARN THAI.
6. Keep healthier eating habits. (It has already begun - with Chinese tea-drinking, and keeping snacks away from my living space)
7. Travel a LOT more. Hopefully... This might have a significant impact on #4.
8. Dependent on #4 - Learn to play the cello.
9. God willing, find love. For real this time.
10. Whatever else life throws my way!!!

I don't normally make resolutions - so I'll just keep these as projections.... sounds more likely that way eh? ;)

Happy New Year in advance everyone!

Little things that turn your day around.

I was on my way home bone-weary and slightly grumpy... only to find that it was pouring.
ARGH!!!
Work clothes and bag full of papers do NOT make a rain-worthy combination!


So I popped into the small Family Mart on the curb before entering my soi and bought a blue plastic raincoat.

Five minutes later, I was happily plodding down my soi.
Bag safely under the coat.
I couldn't help but smile to myself - the last time I pranced around in the rain, donned in a raincoat, must have been when I was just a kid.



Ahhh... to be a kid. :)

Tragedy offers us the opportunity to learn and grow.

What on earth are we here for?

So often we tend to view our difficult situations or those painful experiences seemingly thrust upon us as excuses.
We become victims of circumstance, rather than an active participant in life.


Tragedies really are NOT fair.

I lost my only brother.
The only connection I will have in the world when my parents pass on.
Is that fair?

The man I promised my life to decided it wasn't worth it to fight for me.
Is that fair?

A couple's almost 2-year old drowned in their parents' swimming pool.
Is that fair?

A friend's brother's mind snapped and is now labelled as "crazy".
Is that fair?

These are merely the tragedies that have hit closest to home.
What about those people who have lost children or parents or siblings to war or natural disasters or disease or accidents?
Are any of these fair?


Resounding: NO.


Nothing in life is fair.

But instead of becoming a victim to these unfair happenings, we can choose to look at the "bright side" instead - what is life teaching me? How is this molding my character?

In talking to a friend last night, I realized that I've really really changed (mostly) in the last 2 years. Simply because of the toll tragedy has taken on my life.
Or rather, I should say, because of how I've let tragedy change me - for the better.


One night in early December 2007, I sat on the front porch of my empty house - just me and the stars.
I had just gotten back to Thailand from my brother's funeral in Singapore, and no one was at my house to greet me.
There were no comforting arms to hold me, no one to turn to.
I was utterly and completely alone.
And yet I didn't call a friend to come over to be with me.
I decided to fight my inner battles alone.

As I sat there on the porch in the quiet, somewhat still in shock over the week's happenings, feeling resentment and confusion at having been left to myself by my then-husband, I cried a little... but then slowly the tears dried up.

The stars were bright in the inky night sky, and I had a sense of smallness.
And suddenly... there He was.
The tear in my heart was lifted to the heavens... and I felt nothing but stillness and peace.
"Be still and know."





I cannot describe nor explain fully what happened that night.
All I know is that it was the beginning of a beautiful healing.
And the reason why my blog title was changed to what it is now - Happiness is a Choice.

Through tragedy, I discovered a person that was not there before.
Through hardship I learned to depend on no one else but God.
Through loneliness I found that I could still be happy regardless.


What do the tragedies of your life teach you?

Give Me Flowers While I Can Still Smell Them.

Over the last few months, I've attended quite a few farewells.

They all reminded me in a way of my brother's funeral.
One of the thoughts that crossed my grief-ridden mind, back in Nov 2007 when we held memorials at Reuben's wake and funeral... was:

I REALLY wish he could have been there to see all the people who love and miss him.
To comprehend the impact his life had made on theirs.


We are all an interwoven tapestry of social-emotional-physical connections.
Each life that touches another is significantly different.
And vice versa.
Yet we don't always sit back to ponder and realize this.


"Give me flowers while I am still alive"
(Or something to that effect)

When I first read that quote... it made so much sense.

Yes, we should remember in all fondness those who have passed and will not return.
But why wait till the ones who are here with us now are gone too before we truly appreciate them?

In the same way that we can only truly appreciate a flower's beauty and fragrance when we receive one (and not so much by memory of how a flower feels/looks/smells like), we should also strive to truly appreciate the beautiful people around us.

Because nothing lasts forever.
And everyone leaves.

Clarity

Interesting - I've observed this several times before, but I keep forgetting how much I love running for the clarity I receive.

Must be the additional oxygen my brain receives. Ha.

Received clarity about certain ongoing issues in my life.
Struggles I've had for years.



Also, was a tad inspired - I have the beginnings of a song. :)
Let's see what happens...



****

As I strolled the last stretch of sidewalk back home, I thought of Reuben.
He used to go for runs around our neighbourhood a lot.
And while I listened to some music, I looked up at the slowly darkening sky, and wondered - this was probably a sight Reuben had seen many times before on his way back home from a run.
Again, I wished ever so much to be a fantastic runner like him.
Just to do him proud.

My memories and my grief have been pretty private so far.
Not that that's bad.
It's merely a realization - some are more open with their grief.

I choose who I reveal mine to.

And yet...

****

A few days ago, an acquantance made an observation about my music (/originals).
He remarked that he has gotten to know me more through my music than through actual interaction with me. LOL...
Well, it's funny... music seems to be my most honest means of communication.
In it, I feel comfortable baring my soul.
And not many pick up on it.
Yes, many people listen to the songs I sing and tell me I sing nice and write nice songs... but not many realize just how much of myself I am revealing through those very songs.

It's nice to have that rare listener who more than appreciates, but resonates. :)


****

http://blip.fm/~4cv1p

Deal.

Came across some old pics.
A long white dress.
Big smiles.
Loving looks.

Promises made.
Promises broken.

There have been so many changes in my life the last few years.
I think I've dealt with them pretty well.
Only... maybe I haven't really dealt.
I dunno...

I don't think I've denied or repressed any feelings.
Whenever they surface, I take a good look at them.




However, there are some issues that I'd just rather not go into.
Yet.
Not now.

Time will heal.
Why scratch at the scar?

Please Don't Forget

Time has passed, and will continue to pass us by.


Tomorrow, it will be 1 year and 3 months exactly since Reuben left us.
Life must go on.


I know my parents suffered the most in his passing.
I wish I had made more precious memories to keep with me.
For the latter part of his life I was always away.



I don't want to forget that I had a brother...

July 9, 1984.
I became a big sister.
I don't remember... but I hope I was proud to be a big sis.
He was brown and chubby.
Everyone liked to pinch his cheeks.

We would play together along the corridors of our Ang Mo Kio flat.
Running up and down the stairs.
Blackening the soles of our bare feet.

He followed me around.
We played pranks on the neighbours.
Moving slippers from outside one door to another.
Dropping water bombs from our window.

We fought over who would play the piano (though there was probably room for us both).
We tried to figure out Richard Claderman together.

We played make believe.
A thin mattress propped against a wall with a blanket hung over it was a tent.
He would be the superhero that saved the princess (me).

We went for swimming class together.
We got very dark.
We would pretend to be bells bobbing just beneath the surface of the water.
Ding dong ding...

We argued a lot.
He said he was smarter. (hahahaha..)
He called me fat. (this even when I really was skinny)
He ran around school and church screaming a lot like a girl.

He loved to play out in the sun.
He became very very dark.

When he was an early teen, I made fun of his lack of height and build.
All his peers had early growth spurts.
He was the last to "grow up".
But when he grew, boy did he grow!
He always had big feet - that must have been a clue that he would become tall.

We started working out.
I saw him less and less.
I had my music.
He had his sports.
We argued too much anyway.


When did he become so big?

He loved to eat chicken rice.
On rare occasions, we would go to the nearby gym together.
He brought me to (one of) his favourite chicken rice stalls.
He like to make his own version of chawamushi in the microwave.
It really was pretty damn good.

He would place his plate of rice on the fridge, near to the small fan - he didn't like his rice too hot.
He slept like a log.




I could write more.
But suddenly, I don't feel like sharing.
I'm trying to remember more of these precious memories.
They're coming back slowly.
And I want to hold them selfishly to myself.

I don't ever want to forget that I had a brother.
I don't want to be sad because he's gone.
But I can't forget him either.



Do you know what it's like - to go from always thinking of yourself as an older sister to nothing?
I thought there would always be the two of us...

No, life isn't fair.
I'm not gonna bitch about it.
I just miss him... and I'm afraid that one day I'll forget.
Even though he's gone...

I'm Shimona - Reuben's big sis.

My Baby

Going on 8 years now.
My baby's getting old..
Been a long time since I've spent some good quality time with my baby too.
I used to sit all night just basking. Relishing. Indulging in the sweetness of discovery.

That familiar feeling... that familiar sound.
It still smells faintly of stale tobacco.
Reminds me of good music, good times... yet dark times all the same.

Remnants from a past life.



My guitar.

Oily Piece...

Growing up, my mum would buy you chia kuey (aka you tiao in Chinese) and hot soya bean milk back from the market every Sunday morning.

Today, while walking through the market next to my soi, I stopped at a vendor to pick some up.
Yes, they sell them in Thailand too! :)
Only thing is in Singapore they're much longer - like 2 hands' width long.

My breakfast this morning:







Dunk the you tiao into the hot soya bean milk...





Mmmmmm..... yummy!


OK, given it's pretty dang oily - deep friend and all.
But hey, why do you think they call it "you tiao"?

It's Chinese for oily piece! :p



ps: No, I have no idea what they're called in Thai. Should prolly find out. Heh.

Pics from my Trip...

Gorgeous sunrise, quirky people.... enjoy the pics!



Ridiculously excited to get to the beach!






Kristi & Christina....





Me and D-wight!







Cayla and one of those terrorist monkeys.







Can you see the moon?






Sunrise on the first morning.






Teamwork.






Balance.

Hat Wanakon National Park (Beach) Highlights

Over the weekend (Sat to Mon), 10 friends and I took a 5 hour drive to a nearby beach and were immersed in the beauty of God's Creation.

Here are some memorable moments....

• The overwhelming beauty.
• Great chats with great friends.
• New friends.
  
• Time with God.
• Soft sand between my toes.
• Catching waves then getting smooshed by them.
• Swimming in the sea at 7am.
• Singing while dodging waves.
• Singing all kind of sun/sunshine/water songs.
  
• Fresh fish!
• Terrorist Pepsi-grabbing monkeys
• Slightly lecherous ("Hi babe!") talking bird.
• Stars.
• Fresh air.
• Swallowing too much too-salty water.
• Sunrise over the water.
• Laughing like crazy.
• Playing Nurse
• Freaking over a lizard.
• Puzzling over Hebrews Ch 13.
• Getting sunburnt and applying lotsa aloe vera to no avail.
• Climbing rocks barefoot (OUCH!)
• Exploring (that was a 2 hour-ish walk you guys!)
  
• Landslide sands and a sandwacking William Wallace.
• "Now beautiful" and "feels good to be a gangsta!"
• Falling asleep below stars and willowy trees whilst cocooned in a sleeping bag.
• Waking up to a slowly brightening sky and the sound of waves crashing on the shore.
  
• Taste-testing Oreos and Foreos Faux-reos.
  
• Footprints in the sand.
• Weird spider-like starfishy creatures.
• Smiling into the big black night sky.
• Quiet.

Good times. Good times.


Ps: More about those terrorist monkeys when I get all my pics developed.

The Ruler

Recently, I met up with 2 ex-Sec school classmates whom I hadn't seen in 12 years.
YES, 12 years!


We got to talking, and one of them who used to sit behind me in class, told me that he still has a memento from those days!



Just an ordinary ruler.... except for the liquid paper vandalism.
Yes, I got bored pretty easily and sought alternate sources of entertainment.

A little explanation on my lousy attempt at graffiti here....
See, my friend's last name is Kong.
But I used to tease him about how he was too small to be nicknamed King Kong, so I called him Baby Kong instead. Ahahahahaha.....



Well, when I saw him again after 12 years.... let's just say that I think King Kong might actually be more appropriate now!

"Thank you for teaching me"

Since I left Singapore before the Teachers' Day celebrations last year, this is my first time celebrating Teachers' Day as a teacher!

It was a small affair at my school.
We didn't get a holiday, and there were no big celebrations.
Just 20 mins, in the morning before classes started, dedicated to Teachers' Day.


Our kids lined up in front of us, and presented their teachers with flower garlands (Thai style).

Here's how the garlands look like:


Love Flowers



Jasmine



Roses








They're made of jasmine, roses, and some kind of flower apparently called love flower (I think).
The jasmine is SO fragrant!
Love it!


After receiving the garland from a representative from our class, the student would say something like "thank you for teaching me", and bow his/her head.
Following the Thai teachers' examples, I "blessed" the child by touching his/her head and saying something nice.


After the initial celebrations, I took 5 minutes of some class time to get the whole class to come one by one to give hugs... just cuz hugs are great like that - both parties benefit! That way I also got to "bless" them individually.


I also started thinking about all the teachers that have taught me in the past.
Wish I could say a big thank you to them.
Now that I'm a teacher too... I really appreciate all that they did for me.
So.... in case any of my teachers happen by my blog....
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME!






Overall, this has been a good week - just how I ordered it! ;)

Nugget from the Past...

As we watched the sun rise, the beach was calm and quiet.


"Do you believe in The One?" He asked.

I pondered the question for a moment.
"Yes," I answered naively yet confidently, " I do."


"I don't. Well, not in the conventional sense." He smiled.
"I think there's One for every phase of a person's life."

I looked at him and wondered how very cynical and jaded he must be to believe something like that.





Now, looking back.... I wonder again.

The Cells That Remember

I remember reading somewhere that it's not just our brain and nerve endings/pathways (in the brain) that remember... even our skin cells are capable of retaining information.


I think generally I may have a pretty lousy memory.
Or maybe most people are the same.
Can YOU remember your primary school years?
I hardly do.
Just a vague impression and several isolated incidents maybe.



But then there are triggers...
Sights
Smells
Sounds
A collection of several
that will help to dig out something I've forgotten.

I wish to remember more good stuff.
Humans are built, unfortunately, to remember the bad stuff much easier.
Episodic memory and all that stuff...




Which is why I have this blog.
It's my reminder to myself.