A Modern Woman's Valentine Day Plea

A Modern Woman's Valentine Day Plea

You asked me why we haven't been in touch.
Why we're not as close now as before...

I stutter in amazement.
It's so obvious to me.
An outstretched hand was left wanting....
So turned away from thee.

These days, we women see the truth:
There's no sense in just waiting endlessly...
For romance
and being swept off your feet
are luxuries of eras past.

The modern woman faces her plight
with grace and dignity.
Her independence, wit, and intellect
by society so esteemed,
are double-edged deterrents
few a knight has truly seen.

So... modern man,
should you ever understand
the yearnings of a woman's heart
be gentle yet persistent for our love...
... and we promise to do our part.

A Modern Woman's Valentine's Day Plea by Shimona Kee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

At the turn of the decade....

Almost 10 years ago, we saw the turn of the millenium.
Now here comes another decade.

So to say hello to the TWENTIES and goodbye to ol' TWO THOUSAND..... (I'm pretty sure we're gonna be saying 20-10 instead of two thousand and ten.... and 20-11, 20-12, and so and so forth)..., here's my shortlist of remarkable things that I've experienced and learned in this past decade. (Good and Bad, and in no particular order)

1. Studied and moved to another country - quite unintentionally really - I was never one of those Singaporeans who grew up dreaming of fleeing the country.... it just sort of happened!
2. Tried out 3 entirely different professions - Musician (2001-2004), Teacher (2008-2009), and now Counselor (2008-present).
3. Got back in touch with some old schoolmates.
4. Got married...., and divorced. Yeah, no comment.
5. Lost a precious brother (2007). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reuben_Kee
   
6. Learned to treasure family better.
7. Reconnected (several times) with God..., and finally learning to push past discomfiture and find the intention behind the trials.
8. Reconnected with songwriting (2008)
   
9. Dabbled in different styles of singing (jazz, pop, folk, classical, choir-conducting)
10. Learned to dance - jazz (2003), Thriller (2009),and now salsa!
    
11. "Experienced" 9-11 (2001) in Canada (was an hour away from landing in NY, when our plane got rerouted to Canada)
12. Graduated twice - Business (2001), and Psychology and Education (2008) with honours!!
13. Got back into classical piano, culminating in a recital (2006).., but unfortunately losing momentum now because I have no access to a piano anymore. Yeeessshhh....
14. Taught myself how to film and edit video..., which led to the eventual conception of W51.TV (2009).
15. Learned to be a lot more open to new cultures, new ideas, new worldviews, and most importantly - new people.
16. Learned to when to let go and when to hold on. I hope.
17. Got pushed off a Bungee Jump (2009).
18. Learned a new instrument - ukulele..., and semi-learned: flute.
19. Became a little more organized - thanks Google Calendar! ;)
20. Experienced some crazy Finnish exploits - ice-dipping and the sort.
21. Joined Facebook (2006 I think). 'Nuff said.
22. Won a TV singing competition (2001)
23. Got into yoga (2004). Then hot yoga (2008).
24. Learned to drive a motorbike (2004).
25. Learned to love mountain-biking (2005). (Boy, do I miss that now!)

Now.... to be fair, here is my projection for myself - for the next decade.

1. Learn to and become at LEAST moderately good at dancing.
2. Get my act together musically - record and get stuff OUT there.
3. Find a way to help the underprivileged with my musical proceeds.
4. Gain stability monetarily.
5. LEARN THAI.
6. Keep healthier eating habits. (It has already begun - with Chinese tea-drinking, and keeping snacks away from my living space)
7. Travel a LOT more. Hopefully... This might have a significant impact on #4.
8. Dependent on #4 - Learn to play the cello.
9. God willing, find love. For real this time.
10. Whatever else life throws my way!!!

I don't normally make resolutions - so I'll just keep these as projections.... sounds more likely that way eh? ;)

Happy New Year in advance everyone!

The Call (Original)

The song that was born out of the crying mess God made of me this morning - when He planted the seed of sorrow for this world in me... and the burden to speak out against the silence - of the work that MUST be done.

The Call

Today I heard a man
He spoke of people suffering
Of little girls that fell prey to evil deeds of men.
I heard in lengthy details
And how the words pierced through my soul
I wept in silent agony, while my heart cried out, oh Lord!

What are we wasting our time on?
God, You’re calling us now
To be Your voice in this world
Your hands and Your feet as well
How can we sit so silently?
When the time to work is right now
Lord have mercy on us all
Open our ears to Your Call

I went home still shaken
By the message I had heard
Wanting to help in any way
But not quite knowing how.
Then I had to do my laundry
And those bills –they have to be paid!
I’ve so much already on my plate
I forgot what I had heard

What are we doing every day?
Living our comfortable lives
What about the urgency?
The workers are so few.
How can we quickly just forget
The vision God placed on our hearts
We should see the world with Kingdom eyes
And love Your children as You do

BR:
Heal our eyes that we might see
Heal our ears that we might hear
Our hearts must understand
The Call to serve You...

What are we wasting our time on?
God, you’re calling us now
To be Your voice in this world
Your hands and your feet as well
How can we sit so silently?
When the time to work is right now
Lord have mercy on us all
Open our ears to Your Call

We are your hands
We are your feet
We are Your servants
Lord send us!

~S. Written 0811209.

It's beginning to feel a lot like...

... winter! YAY!

2 days ago, it started getting a LOT cooler here in Bangkok.
So cool, I haven't turned my A/C on in more than 24 hours!
In fact, I woke this morning feeling chilled, and couldn't simply reach for the A/C remote and turn the A/C off.... had to close the windows. Heh.


So here we are in November, and just an inch away from 2010.
How time does fly.

School is getting to the point where everyone is crazybusy.
Teachers and staff look a tad insane because all our wonderful activities are crushed into the small time-bracket left for 2009.

Things have really changed at my school. What positive changes they have been too.
Everyone is learning a whole lot, and our school is definitely progressing in an upwards fashion.



On a personal note, the last few weeks have been... overloaded.
To the point where I succumbed to a cold virus for the first time in years. Eargh.
Forgot how sucky it is to be sick. Hahhahaa...

Anyway, I'm rushing off to work in just a bit, but wanted to blog a few glimpses I've had this last week:

In reflecting about what is life, and -- if I had just 4 minutes left on this earth, what I would say...

LIFE

It's not about...
money
health
beauty
conveniences
possession
having people you love physically with you
relationships with family and friends
feeling like you FIT
being happy
or satisfied with life
and especially not SELF...

For all is meaningless... a chasing after the wind.


RATHER,
it's ALL about
getting to know WHO GOD IS

EVERYTHING experienced in this life
is for the sole purpose of learning about WHO GOD IS
and letting His Character teach and seep into
your OWN life...
your work
your relationships
your activities
your mental/emotional state...
such that it is merely an overflow
of WHO GOD IS.

In fact,
one lifetime is possibly not enough!
That is how immense GOD is!

And so - the meaning of life..,
is wrapped around the Heart of God.
For without Him,
ALL is meaningless.
But FOR GOD,
ALL has meaning.
Even death itself.

Becoming Strong. A.K.A Submissive.

Over the course of the week, I had some interesting chats with some friends.
One of the chats we had was about strength - how one can become strengthened by the Lord.

I've also been contemplating how God leads us from realization to obedience.

See, I've come to realize that the more you ask for the Holy Spirit's enlightenment in your life, the more you will receive. The little epiphanies will come fast and furious and you will be amazed at the amount of wisdom God showers down on you.
Wisdom about your own life and your place in His Kingdom.

But then... here comes the hard part - obeying what you now KNOW you need to do.


God does not lead us to "easy truths".
Many times the wisdom He imparts to us really, really hurt!
More often that not, we instinctively want to pull the reins of control back from Him and live life on our own terms again - despite knowing the havoc this will wreak.


So truly... the hardest part about God's wisdom is not so much understanding it... but OBEYING it.
Obeying Him.



I'm not the most submissive of people.
ANYONE who knows me can easily confirm this. Heh...
So lately I've been struggling with some simple truths and how to live these truths in my life - even when it goes against my headstrong nature.... especially when it goes against my habits and feelings.

The latest revelation that God has blessed me with is the understanding that "knowing" is not enough. Becoming aware of your shortcomings and need to change is just the first step.
The crunch is in "putting your money where your mouth is".
Even in the HARD stuff.
Because honestly, it's easy for us to claim the victories which come at little or no cost - the stuff that is easy for us to change and feel-good about.
The stuff that doesn't really break us.
Not really.



Yep... I've been struggling with some matters of obedience lately.
In terms of my temperament and instinctual reaction to daily matters... and even how I live my independent, now-swinging single life.

Then today, after struggling with 2 such matters and seemingly "overcoming" them, the Spirit whispered a gentle realization to me... about strength:

True strength, when faced with life's hardships and temptations, is not strength that comes about from my own person.
Rather... it is the strength that comes from God that helps me defeat trials.
Furthermore (and this is the important part), it is only in OBEDIENCE and submission that I am able to receive this strength.
So... ironically, I am strongest in the Lord when I am most obedient/soft/weak TO HIM.

What beautiful release this has given me.
God does his most powerful work in me when I simply surrender.
There's no need to struggle against the grain anymore... rather in learning to surrender my pride and old ways of doing things; old ways of thinking... I gain God's infinite power.


It is true what the bible says - I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.



Lastly, and most reassuringly, the Holy Spirit brings is able to bring a person from a hardened state... to realization... to humble obedience.
What a relief!
And what an amazing thing.
Just look how much God loves us - He brings us every step of the way.

All we need to do is ask Him to do it.

Spinning Round to Stand Still...

Coming back home has been... interesting.

I've often talked about death - since my brother's...
But really, death is easy. Living is hard.

I don't mean that in a bad sense though.
I still firmly believe that though living is hard, it can be richly rewarding and joyful.
Living is a choice too.
Because one can be alive, but not truly be living.

Watching my grandma, who is in the final stage of cancer, and basically waiting to die (but aren't we all really?), I find myself wondering what it must be like for her to be on the brink of death... to have lived almost a century.
She lived through wars, an arranged marriage, and various other hardships.
Most of all, I remember the difference in her personality and outlook on life ever since she made the choice to follow God.

As our lives unfold, are we carried along as if by the currents of the sea?
Or do we learn to swim, enjoy the feel of the water, surf, boat... you get the picture/analogy. Heh.


I've had this song stuck in my head since the day b4 I came to Sg.
Then I found this YouTube vid of the song - representing the 3 stages of life a girl goes through.
I'd say every human being goes through.




When it's time to go, will I be ready?
But in the meantime, will I choose to live my life with passion, zest, and love?

I surely hope so.

Don't Forget to Hope.

Don't let hurricanes hold you back
Raging rivers or shark attacks
Find love, and give it all away
Find love, and give it all away

Wrestle bears bring them to their knees
Steal the honey from killer bees
Find love, and give it all away
Find love, and give it all away

Don't be scared to connect the dots
And dig for gold in the parking lot
Find love, and then give it all away
Find love, then give it all away
Find love, then give it all away

First Time For Everything...

No one's ever written a poem/song for me before... but last week, a close (long lost but now found) friend, Drea, wrote this.
(I got her permission to share it here on my blog.)

Shimona

You remind me so much of the precious things
Of children's laughs and fairy wings
Through a purpled heart, as life crashed down.
You faced the world.
You stood your ground

Enigmatically I might add-

You may have stood as the weathered rock
Steady as the wise Sequoia. Rooted. Strong.
Yet you never lost that love or warmth
Nor the faith that comes with early dawn.

You've lived, you've learned. You've laughed, you've cried.
And stronger woman grew where the weaker one died.

One day you will look back at all of this,
From a place you hurt no more
For that little sparrow that almost broke-
As an eagle now- will soar

All the more poetic because of this blog post I wrote a while back....
(read the poem at the end).


Thanks Drea.
It's good to know that God has indeed blessed me with some gems of friends who see my heart and love me in spite of it all.
I pray that I can do the same for them.

Tragedy offers us the opportunity to learn and grow.

What on earth are we here for?

So often we tend to view our difficult situations or those painful experiences seemingly thrust upon us as excuses.
We become victims of circumstance, rather than an active participant in life.


Tragedies really are NOT fair.

I lost my only brother.
The only connection I will have in the world when my parents pass on.
Is that fair?

The man I promised my life to decided it wasn't worth it to fight for me.
Is that fair?

A couple's almost 2-year old drowned in their parents' swimming pool.
Is that fair?

A friend's brother's mind snapped and is now labelled as "crazy".
Is that fair?

These are merely the tragedies that have hit closest to home.
What about those people who have lost children or parents or siblings to war or natural disasters or disease or accidents?
Are any of these fair?


Resounding: NO.


Nothing in life is fair.

But instead of becoming a victim to these unfair happenings, we can choose to look at the "bright side" instead - what is life teaching me? How is this molding my character?

In talking to a friend last night, I realized that I've really really changed (mostly) in the last 2 years. Simply because of the toll tragedy has taken on my life.
Or rather, I should say, because of how I've let tragedy change me - for the better.


One night in early December 2007, I sat on the front porch of my empty house - just me and the stars.
I had just gotten back to Thailand from my brother's funeral in Singapore, and no one was at my house to greet me.
There were no comforting arms to hold me, no one to turn to.
I was utterly and completely alone.
And yet I didn't call a friend to come over to be with me.
I decided to fight my inner battles alone.

As I sat there on the porch in the quiet, somewhat still in shock over the week's happenings, feeling resentment and confusion at having been left to myself by my then-husband, I cried a little... but then slowly the tears dried up.

The stars were bright in the inky night sky, and I had a sense of smallness.
And suddenly... there He was.
The tear in my heart was lifted to the heavens... and I felt nothing but stillness and peace.
"Be still and know."





I cannot describe nor explain fully what happened that night.
All I know is that it was the beginning of a beautiful healing.
And the reason why my blog title was changed to what it is now - Happiness is a Choice.

Through tragedy, I discovered a person that was not there before.
Through hardship I learned to depend on no one else but God.
Through loneliness I found that I could still be happy regardless.


What do the tragedies of your life teach you?

Pics from my Trip...

Gorgeous sunrise, quirky people.... enjoy the pics!



Ridiculously excited to get to the beach!






Kristi & Christina....





Me and D-wight!







Cayla and one of those terrorist monkeys.







Can you see the moon?






Sunrise on the first morning.






Teamwork.






Balance.

Hat Wanakon National Park (Beach) Highlights

Over the weekend (Sat to Mon), 10 friends and I took a 5 hour drive to a nearby beach and were immersed in the beauty of God's Creation.

Here are some memorable moments....

• The overwhelming beauty.
• Great chats with great friends.
• New friends.
  
• Time with God.
• Soft sand between my toes.
• Catching waves then getting smooshed by them.
• Swimming in the sea at 7am.
• Singing while dodging waves.
• Singing all kind of sun/sunshine/water songs.
  
• Fresh fish!
• Terrorist Pepsi-grabbing monkeys
• Slightly lecherous ("Hi babe!") talking bird.
• Stars.
• Fresh air.
• Swallowing too much too-salty water.
• Sunrise over the water.
• Laughing like crazy.
• Playing Nurse
• Freaking over a lizard.
• Puzzling over Hebrews Ch 13.
• Getting sunburnt and applying lotsa aloe vera to no avail.
• Climbing rocks barefoot (OUCH!)
• Exploring (that was a 2 hour-ish walk you guys!)
  
• Landslide sands and a sandwacking William Wallace.
• "Now beautiful" and "feels good to be a gangsta!"
• Falling asleep below stars and willowy trees whilst cocooned in a sleeping bag.
• Waking up to a slowly brightening sky and the sound of waves crashing on the shore.
  
• Taste-testing Oreos and Foreos Faux-reos.
  
• Footprints in the sand.
• Weird spider-like starfishy creatures.
• Smiling into the big black night sky.
• Quiet.

Good times. Good times.


Ps: More about those terrorist monkeys when I get all my pics developed.

Simply Beautiful

Just what I needed... but now I think I might be in withdrawal.




... of the plain, unfettered, absolutely astounding beauty of His love.... right before my eyes.






Thank you Lord.

A Good Soak.

After a good run at the gym today, I decided to spoil myself by soaking in the steam bath.

Ahhh... what luxury!
I felt the heat penetrate my skin and bones and hair (conditioned of course!)... and for the first time in a long time I was completely relaxed.

After a cold shower, I was about to blow-dry my hair when I realized I'd forgotten to bring my curling hair balm!


So upon leaving the gym, I made a quick stop by Boots and used the Tester there.
Hehehehhee.....





Despite waking up late this morning (!!!!)...
Today was a great day.
:)

Investing in the Future

Seeing my two grandmas lately, and even my parents and aunties and uncles who are getting older, has gotten me thinking about old age.

We can't deny certain facts in our lives - we are born, we live, we die.
Some die young, some grow old and die.
Some people, when old, lose control over many things - their physical body, their mental state... it's just a matter of time.

Or is it?


Many of the sicknesses and troubles of old age can probably be attributed to lack of foresight/planning/control in youth.

Let's face it - the great problem of the young is that the young tend to live like there's no tomorrow.
In other words, the young do not usually think,"Oh, if I continue to party every night and sleep late, I will be incurring a huge sleep debt and which might one day lead to Parkinson's when I am old."

Ha.

No, I've been through that blatant blindness, and have passed the stage where I can do something without thinking twice about the consequences.

One of my favourite quotes from this movie called Closer is:
"She has the moronic beauty of youth"
I think it's just so aptly described,
Youth have a kind of beauty that will never be revived - it is a moronic beauty, a kind of beauty that is entirely disrespectful of the reality of life that we live in.
Because at that age, we can still afford to take everything for granted.


Well, here are several articles I came across about how what we do and what we eat affects what kind of old person we will become:
Blood Sugar Linked to Good Brain Health
Brain Malnourishment Triggers Alzhiemer's
REM Sleep Disorder Linked to Parkinson's



So... at the start of this new year, why not start planning:
What kind of old age will you be investing in?

Presenting....

There's no way I'm blogging all the pics I've been taking.
But.... I will share some of the most recent ones with you now:

Shimona Recommends...
(a culmination of my favourite makeup products)


Left:
Essential:
SillkPro Supersun BlockSilk
SPF 45++

Right:
One of the best and most luxurious makeup removers I've ever tried.
Of course, it has to be.. Loreal.

Moisturizer, foundation and sunblock all in one.
Grrrreat!







Left:
Face Shop - gotta love it!
The Flower UV Intense Powder Pact SPF 50+PA+++
and eyebrow pencil in Taupe.

Right:
Compact closed.










Left:
In with the new, out with the old:
Loreal and Loreal.
Couldn't bear to part with the old one because everything else I bought just didn't measure up. Finally got this new Loreal, and am sated.
Top: Loreal Panoramic Curl in Intense Black - used it for about 5 years (!!!!)
Bottom: Loreal Oil Architecte - False Lash Effect Mascara.

Right:
Liquid Foundation sponges.









Love this brand of sparkling eye shadow.
Splash.
Featured in pic:
Starfish Plum
Purple Rain

(I have 2 more colours - a pink and a blue)








Xmas present from Joelle... my first ever gel eyeliner.
LOVE IT! It doesn't smudge!

Laneige Multi Shaping Eyeliner - Gel and Powder Liner.
Of course, in 01 Black!












Left:
This is my cannot-leave-the-house-without-it product:
MAC Select Moisturecover
(concealer with moisturizer for those unslightly blemishes and dark circles. SIgh....)

Right:
All-time favourite lip gloss - Origins Lip Color.
Shades I like:
Juicy Details
Really Rosy
Soft Sizzle







And this, I just couldn't resist:





OK, I'll stop teasing you with "half-pictures" - I bought these 2 pairs of
(I don't even know what they're called.... "Amy Flats"???) at a sale.