Merry Christmas everyone!

Here's how we do Christmas in BKK:




And on a more serious note, here's my Christmas gift (in song) to you all:
CLICK LINK TO PLAY: http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/song_3028407

Video of the song here (sound quality is prolly not as good):

God Guides us ALL the Way.

What happens when we allow God to work in our everyday lives?


Step 1: Conviction

This is the state of awareness.
The Spirit slowly brings to light the secret sins of our hearts - big or little.
Through the study of scripture, daily interactions with the community of Christ, and trials & tribulations..., we start to become increasingly aware of the areas of our lives that need to be changed.
The Still Small Voice gets louder and louder until our hearts hurt SO BAD with the need to seek God's forgiveness - allow Him to change our lives and be healed.



Step 2: Confession

This is where we learn to be completely vulnerable.
It is being willing to show others the "true" you - the parts that are not perfect and sometimes even shameful.
In confessing our sins and struggles to our brothers and sisters, we share our journey in Christ, and deepen our relationships - challenging concepts that are taught theoretically in church - concepts of love and acceptance, grace and mercy.



Step 3: Construction

It doesn't end with confession.
After we have become aware of our ugliness, and our INTENSE NEED for a Saviour, and hence are able to admit this to the people we love and care about (even despite fear of rejection), we then must learn to take a hold of GRACE.
This is the same grace that our Lord extends to every single person - whether they know it or not, whether they have become aware of their need for it or not, and whether they are able to accept it or not.
However, it is when we are able to reach out and grab this generous offer of grace God gives that we truly OWN the healing that God works in our lives:

"While God accepts us as we are He doesn't leave us as we are."

But you see, that doesn't mean that we merely confess with our lips and then leave it to God to do all the work! While Christ has paid the price of salvation, and grace is offered to all, we are called as followers of Christ to TAKE UP OUR CROSS DAILY:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it."

Questions to ponder:

1. As a follower of Christ, how am I allowing God to break my life apart and consequently build me into the person that He wants me to be?
2. As a fellow believer, how can I react with love and grace when other people struggle with their sins? How can I be authentic in my interactions? - praying and loving Christ's lambs the way He would?
3. As a sinner seeing how I fall short of God's glory, how can I reach out for God's grace, accept the love and grace that might be given to me from the community of Christ, and have faith that God is weaving His beautiful masterplan in this unique tapestry of our lives?

Lord, may YOU be the moving force in our lives - that drives us to love and have mercy...., or that allows us to come before You with humble hearts and to stay in community with no shame, rather a common understanding of how we are all so alike and struggling together.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

Tonight's Bible Study - Mark 8:27-9:1

My notes/response/ponderings... about what the passage teaches us about Christ's identity and thus our spiritual walk with God:

1. Who is God?
2. What is He doing in my life / my world?
3. What does He ask me to do in response (to 1 and 2)?

And.... conversely...
1. What illusions do I hold about who God is?
2. What illusions do I hold about how He works in my life / this world?
3. Am I imposing my own ideas on what I think God is asking me to do, instead of simply obeying what He tells me to do?

Do I struggle and rebuke God when things don't go according to how I think they should go because I think I know how God should work?.... (Like Peter), and what is God teaching me about His character and HIS work - in relation to why I am here on earth?

The Call (Original)

The song that was born out of the crying mess God made of me this morning - when He planted the seed of sorrow for this world in me... and the burden to speak out against the silence - of the work that MUST be done.

The Call

Today I heard a man
He spoke of people suffering
Of little girls that fell prey to evil deeds of men.
I heard in lengthy details
And how the words pierced through my soul
I wept in silent agony, while my heart cried out, oh Lord!

What are we wasting our time on?
God, You’re calling us now
To be Your voice in this world
Your hands and Your feet as well
How can we sit so silently?
When the time to work is right now
Lord have mercy on us all
Open our ears to Your Call

I went home still shaken
By the message I had heard
Wanting to help in any way
But not quite knowing how.
Then I had to do my laundry
And those bills –they have to be paid!
I’ve so much already on my plate
I forgot what I had heard

What are we doing every day?
Living our comfortable lives
What about the urgency?
The workers are so few.
How can we quickly just forget
The vision God placed on our hearts
We should see the world with Kingdom eyes
And love Your children as You do

BR:
Heal our eyes that we might see
Heal our ears that we might hear
Our hearts must understand
The Call to serve You...

What are we wasting our time on?
God, you’re calling us now
To be Your voice in this world
Your hands and your feet as well
How can we sit so silently?
When the time to work is right now
Lord have mercy on us all
Open our ears to Your Call

We are your hands
We are your feet
We are Your servants
Lord send us!

~S. Written 0811209.

It's beginning to feel a lot like...

... winter! YAY!

2 days ago, it started getting a LOT cooler here in Bangkok.
So cool, I haven't turned my A/C on in more than 24 hours!
In fact, I woke this morning feeling chilled, and couldn't simply reach for the A/C remote and turn the A/C off.... had to close the windows. Heh.


So here we are in November, and just an inch away from 2010.
How time does fly.

School is getting to the point where everyone is crazybusy.
Teachers and staff look a tad insane because all our wonderful activities are crushed into the small time-bracket left for 2009.

Things have really changed at my school. What positive changes they have been too.
Everyone is learning a whole lot, and our school is definitely progressing in an upwards fashion.



On a personal note, the last few weeks have been... overloaded.
To the point where I succumbed to a cold virus for the first time in years. Eargh.
Forgot how sucky it is to be sick. Hahhahaa...

Anyway, I'm rushing off to work in just a bit, but wanted to blog a few glimpses I've had this last week:

In reflecting about what is life, and -- if I had just 4 minutes left on this earth, what I would say...

LIFE

It's not about...
money
health
beauty
conveniences
possession
having people you love physically with you
relationships with family and friends
feeling like you FIT
being happy
or satisfied with life
and especially not SELF...

For all is meaningless... a chasing after the wind.


RATHER,
it's ALL about
getting to know WHO GOD IS

EVERYTHING experienced in this life
is for the sole purpose of learning about WHO GOD IS
and letting His Character teach and seep into
your OWN life...
your work
your relationships
your activities
your mental/emotional state...
such that it is merely an overflow
of WHO GOD IS.

In fact,
one lifetime is possibly not enough!
That is how immense GOD is!

And so - the meaning of life..,
is wrapped around the Heart of God.
For without Him,
ALL is meaningless.
But FOR GOD,
ALL has meaning.
Even death itself.

Becoming Strong. A.K.A Submissive.

Over the course of the week, I had some interesting chats with some friends.
One of the chats we had was about strength - how one can become strengthened by the Lord.

I've also been contemplating how God leads us from realization to obedience.

See, I've come to realize that the more you ask for the Holy Spirit's enlightenment in your life, the more you will receive. The little epiphanies will come fast and furious and you will be amazed at the amount of wisdom God showers down on you.
Wisdom about your own life and your place in His Kingdom.

But then... here comes the hard part - obeying what you now KNOW you need to do.


God does not lead us to "easy truths".
Many times the wisdom He imparts to us really, really hurt!
More often that not, we instinctively want to pull the reins of control back from Him and live life on our own terms again - despite knowing the havoc this will wreak.


So truly... the hardest part about God's wisdom is not so much understanding it... but OBEYING it.
Obeying Him.



I'm not the most submissive of people.
ANYONE who knows me can easily confirm this. Heh...
So lately I've been struggling with some simple truths and how to live these truths in my life - even when it goes against my headstrong nature.... especially when it goes against my habits and feelings.

The latest revelation that God has blessed me with is the understanding that "knowing" is not enough. Becoming aware of your shortcomings and need to change is just the first step.
The crunch is in "putting your money where your mouth is".
Even in the HARD stuff.
Because honestly, it's easy for us to claim the victories which come at little or no cost - the stuff that is easy for us to change and feel-good about.
The stuff that doesn't really break us.
Not really.



Yep... I've been struggling with some matters of obedience lately.
In terms of my temperament and instinctual reaction to daily matters... and even how I live my independent, now-swinging single life.

Then today, after struggling with 2 such matters and seemingly "overcoming" them, the Spirit whispered a gentle realization to me... about strength:

True strength, when faced with life's hardships and temptations, is not strength that comes about from my own person.
Rather... it is the strength that comes from God that helps me defeat trials.
Furthermore (and this is the important part), it is only in OBEDIENCE and submission that I am able to receive this strength.
So... ironically, I am strongest in the Lord when I am most obedient/soft/weak TO HIM.

What beautiful release this has given me.
God does his most powerful work in me when I simply surrender.
There's no need to struggle against the grain anymore... rather in learning to surrender my pride and old ways of doing things; old ways of thinking... I gain God's infinite power.


It is true what the bible says - I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.



Lastly, and most reassuringly, the Holy Spirit brings is able to bring a person from a hardened state... to realization... to humble obedience.
What a relief!
And what an amazing thing.
Just look how much God loves us - He brings us every step of the way.

All we need to do is ask Him to do it.

Break These Walls

Tired of lying to all, even I don’t believe me
Make believe to the world that I’m doing OK
Why do I put on a show when I know that You hear me?
The only way out is if I just give in to Your power...

Break these walls
Lord and soften me
I need Your Spirit
Bend me and break me, oh...
I don’t know where You’re taking me
But now that I’m on my knees
Won’t You please help me?

I am no stranger to feeling so extraterrestrial.
Put up defences - I think I’m stronger than before
Learning the hard way should really just teach me a lesson.
This time I won’t wait – I’ll give in right now to The Lord...

Br:
Hands raised to Heaven
I offer my life oh-so broken
Put a stop to these thoughts racing inside my head.
God of the Heavens I know You supply all the answers
So take me and piece me together in a way You see fit.




Lyrics & song written on Aug 1st, 2009.

Related/Partly inspired by THIS blog entry.

My New Ride!

Been just a flurry of activities since I got back to bkk.
At first, it felt kinda strange and slightly depressing (the night I got back) - being suddenly all alone, after having the company of my parents for the last month.... but I think I'm adjusting back to being alone again.

Proof that despite my extrovertness, I am a true introvert - I love my space and alone-time. :)



So... yesterday, with the help of a friend from church (thanks Bun!), I managed to purchase a brand new Yamaha Fino! And of course He christened it with showers of blessings from above as soon as we bought it and Bun drove it back to my place from the store. Heh.

Without further ado, I give you.....
FOXY FINO!!!

Ain't she a beauty? :)
Complete with cute box & tiny windshield. Ehehehehe....
I decided on brown despite being tempted by a sexy hottt pink one... cuz I figured the less attention I draw to myself/mybike the less likely to be pulled over by cops and the less likely bike thieves will try to steal my bike. (YES, I bought a chain lock too - u can see it in the pic if u look closely.)
Anyway, brown is totally retro... AND it's the colour of CHOCOLATE. How can u beat that????

Now... before you get all paranoid and give me the too-familiar lecture about how dangerous driving around bkk is... lemme just say - Foxy Fino is a neighbourhood fox. No main roads or highways. Only back sois. I even bought a Bangkok street map (it's a thick book not unlike the Singapore Street Directory) to map my way around the little sois behind my house.



Now, you'll have to excuse me - it's time to explore the neighbourhood and have some lunch! :)

Heartprints

As I browsed through my friends' profiles on facebook, I felt a familiar sentimental tug.

Yes, people do come in and out of our lives, but then there are the handful, who, despite making a so-called "exit", still remain in our lives.



The challenge is keeping up with everyone's lives.

As our paths cross, part, and continue to meander along in life... sometimes it feel as if we are more than those physical seas apart.

And then other times it feels as if we are not that far apart after all.

There is a fine balance to be sought.
(pardon this weird blog-entry. My thoughts are coming in drips and drabs and sporadically)
Keeping in touch is important.
Knowing what's going on in each others' lives, keeping conversation going, and yet... having faith that when conversation dries up, well, that the people we care about still care for us.


Lately though, I've been learning the importance of keeping up.
We are human beings after all... and yes, though we might just be able to "pick it up where we left off" whenever we meet up again,
the world is a big place, and the people we care for are many.

Why not drop an email or two, or skype each other now and then?
Rather than take for granted that "we'll meet some day and things'll be just like they were"....

Cuz things do change.
People get older.
Experiences wear us thin.
And those who "stay" in our lives are the ones whom we often really feel care for us.

Give Credit Where Credit is Due.

In Bible study the last few weeks/months, we've talked offering God the sacrifice of praise... and of overflowing with thanksgiving always.

It's hard to always "praise" God... especially when things get rough.
Or is it JUST when things are rough?
How about when life is going seemingly swimmingly?


Lately, God is teaching me to truly sing His praises in all things - literally and figuratively.

When things are rough, I turn to Him... and cry out for healing.
In doing so, I realize how truly beautiful, powerful, and amazing He is!
And can't help but praise Him.... even before I get an answer - because I know it will come.


When things are going well, I bask in His presence.
Being saturated in The Word, and in His wisdom and spirit can only lead to me praising Him for any accomplishments I might have - hence keeping me grounded.
In fact, I can't HELP but overflow with His praises!

Did I really write that song?
No... God gave it to me, in a moment of true hardship and yearning.
And now I want to share it with whoever needs blessings from Him.



It really all comes down to a very simple concept:
The closer you are to Him...
the better you understand His Will for your life...
the more frequent those God-vision glimpses you get...
... the easier it will be to praise Him in all things - and give Him credit where it is due.

For He alone deserves it!

Give Me Flowers While I Can Still Smell Them.

Over the last few months, I've attended quite a few farewells.

They all reminded me in a way of my brother's funeral.
One of the thoughts that crossed my grief-ridden mind, back in Nov 2007 when we held memorials at Reuben's wake and funeral... was:

I REALLY wish he could have been there to see all the people who love and miss him.
To comprehend the impact his life had made on theirs.


We are all an interwoven tapestry of social-emotional-physical connections.
Each life that touches another is significantly different.
And vice versa.
Yet we don't always sit back to ponder and realize this.


"Give me flowers while I am still alive"
(Or something to that effect)

When I first read that quote... it made so much sense.

Yes, we should remember in all fondness those who have passed and will not return.
But why wait till the ones who are here with us now are gone too before we truly appreciate them?

In the same way that we can only truly appreciate a flower's beauty and fragrance when we receive one (and not so much by memory of how a flower feels/looks/smells like), we should also strive to truly appreciate the beautiful people around us.

Because nothing lasts forever.
And everyone leaves.

Don't forget those encouraging words...

What a lovely day.

I'm learning so much.
With a little help from Above, I'm learning to listen when I need to.
To give hugs when something nudges me to.
To ask people about their stories, and consequently become amazed at where they've come from.
To put my pride and hurt aside so that I can grow in my love for another.
To make the extra effort to get to know what lies beneath the surface.


Honestly, I'm feeling (more than) a little sentimental today.
In the last few weeks, and weeks to come, many of the most amazing connections I've made as a result of being a part of NewSong Bangkok... will change to long-distance connections.

Reflecting on where God has brought me, I'm simply amazed at how much He has taught me through other people in this community.

Everyone I've interacted with has an amazing story.
And everyone is a unique reminder of the character of God.
Yes, God will bring new people into my life (and into the lives of those who have left Bangkok), but each person I've gotten to know is SO special to me.
I cannot help but feel sad and sentimental....


Even today, hanging out with John and Cyndi, (I really wish we had done this earlier!) I was amazed and humbled by their stories.. but above all, their attitude of encouragement towards others and willingness to listen and learn,... and watch in awe at the works of God's hand!




It is now my prayer that I may also listen, encourage, and be in awe of the works of God in the lives of other people around me.

Praise, praise, praise be to God.
And GRACE and PEACE to those of you who must leave Bangkok.
I love you, and will continue to pray for you.

A Lamp to my Feet and a Light to My Path

How sweet the wisdom of Your words.
What peace Your understanding brings.
How great Your mercies...
... My lips can find no words.

of joy
of grace.



Gentleness....
As I stood shouting at the noisy students in my classroom, I was quietly chastised.

Handle them gently.
Just as I do you.

Yes, there are times for tough love.
But there are also times for gentleness and patience.



I delight in Your Word.
Bless us all with Your sweet grace and discernment.
Oh Lord, I pray for Your blessings.
More, we cry... more!

And then....
Who will go?
Send me!!!

Oceans Apart But United in Prayer

I stopped writing my lesson plans and bowed my head to pray.

I know of 2 friends who are hurting and searching... and my heart aches for them.
As I was praying, I heard a sound - the bleep of a gtalk msg.
It was a friend from the States.

So I asked him to pray too.
I had also (just a few minutes before almost praying, myself) Twittered and Blipped this:
Prayer is a wheel that never ends. Praying specially for some friends who are hurting. Please pray too. ♫ http://blip.fm/~3dnul

And in response, 1 person from Twitter, and 1 person on Blip prayed too. (The person on Blip even re-Blipped my Blip, and I'm sure there were a few other people I didn't know praying too)



So for those few minutes that I bowed my head, sitting alone in my classroom, I was not alone - there was a collective prayer rising from the earth like incense to the heavens.

By faith, I know that God has heard and will answer our prayers.


Amen!

Like a Kid on Christmas Morning...

Yesterday afternoon, I arrived home after work tired, hot and sweaty.

But waiting in my apartment for me were...

• My snazzy new fridge
• Plush gold curtains
• A washing machine! (downstairs)

How nice!
I spent whatever time I could quickly rearranging and organizing whatever I could... but soon had to leave for a meeting.


All smiles though.
Things are beginning to come together.
Thank God!
Last week was pretty lousy - having to move by yourself is no easy business... but the Lord provided helping hands towards the last part of my move.
Otherwise I'd have gone bonkers.
Seriously.



With work and church activities, I expect to be "actually done" with my apartment hopefully by this weekend.

After that, please do ring my bell anytime! (Ok, maybe not when I'm sleeping...)

Intentional and Authentic

Tonex on 6Lyrics.com

Perfect Love

I've learned a lot this last week.
Just wanna jot down and share quickly before I turn in for the night.

• Grace and peace is not something that can be fought/strived for... rather it can only be given from God when we completely surrender.
• We need to be grounded in The Word. Especially when circumstances and situations throw us a loop. The only constant is Him.
• Be open and reach out to others. In return, you will receive and be blessed abundantly!
• STOP kicking against the prick!! --> Often we fight against the very thing(s) we need when all we really need to do is to let go and turn over the wheel to God. He can do so much more with our "problems" - they are His anway... He OWNS them! (and they're not problems anyway but blessings because we learn and grow the most from them...)
  
• We fight and kick against the prick because we are ridiculously afraid.... Afraid of rejection, afraid of loneliness, afraid of failure... basically afraid that our greatest fears will come true - that we are worthless and unworthy of others' effort and love.
• BUT... God's perfect love can cast out that fear - in His love we find that our fears are ungrounded - because of His all-encompassing, incomprehensible love, we are worth way, way, waaaaay more than we can ever imagine!!

Once again, He has found me.

I am amazed and cannot be more grateful - I am blessed.
(chok dee mak mak!! OK, that doesn't really mean blessed... more like lucky... but a salesman said that to me today and I did feel incredibly blessed at that point. So am thinking that being blessed is pretty akin to being lucky! Heh.)

And The Nomad Strikes Again....!!

Tomorrow I get the keys to my new place.
During the week, I'll be moving (bit by bit) in... and on Sunday next week (22nd), I'll officially have a new address!

Why the move?
Hmmm... lotsa reasons.

1. Nearer to the BTS
2. Nearer to town
3. Nearer to school
4. I'll be living right above my church - and since I'm almost always there...
5. Bigger living space
6. Parquet floors
7. 5 mins walk to movie theater
   
8. 5 mins walk to park (yay! REAL running!!)
9. More privacy
10. I get rooftop access hehe
11. I already know of a few people who live near enough for a neighbourly dinner.
    
12. Best of all - the wardrobe is huge and has DRAWERS! Woot!!

Ok, I am like soooo psyched!
Will try to take pics of my current place vs new place and post them up sometime in the next millenium (yes, that's how busy I am).

Wattup people!
I've been busy, but still miss seeing/hearing from many of you bloggers and regular readers.
Shoutout ya...? :)

The BEST Massage Ever...

Ready?
Click PLAY.

.... Try Again....

I think I might actually be getting better....

Last time - only a few successful pics (ie. not TO under or over exposed).

vs

This time - more successful pics!

(Sorry... I'm lazy to post them one by one on my blog - just check out the album by clicking the link above, ok? Enjoy!)