In Wonderment...

Am currently in a state of quasi-wonder.

I'm not sure if I'm in a state of denial or simply adapting and coping well.


I've heard it said umpteen times by (usually with good intentions) that I need to be strong and move on. While I see the sense in it, and am obviously doing so, seeing how I am now the only child and I still have to cope with finishing up my studies amidst all this chaos in my life... sometimes I really wish people would just shut up, not offer me any advice, not expect me to be strong and move on, but simply be my friend and be here for me.

One of the hardest things about coming back to Singapore is finding my place again here.
Many of my friends have "moved on" with new friendships, and I find myself in a solitary state of self-reflection these days.

While this is fine for the most part, seeing how I'm simply swamped with schoolwork and internship stuff, I somehow feel like I've been overlooked in all this.
Normally I don't like to sit around and whine about how sad I feel or how anyone should feel for me, because I don't think I need other peoples' pity or sympathy... but I know myself well enough to know the importance of viewing one's own needs as important.

Argh... that was confusing - what I'm trying to say is -
It's important not to focus on one's own situation, so as not to get too self-piteous or self-indulgent, but it's also important to acknowledge our needs so that we can fulfill them enough to be able to help others.

Put as simply as I can (after that long winded explanation), help yourself first before you can help others, but don't help yourself only.



My hope and prayer for this new year is to learn to be less selfish and to seek God to fulfill my needs. May his grace and love be with all of you.