Just a Dull Ache Remains.

Funny how the heart heals.

Life has been tumultuous for me in the last half a year or so.
In many ways, I feel that I've aged.
I make a deliberate effort now to keep young... afraid that I will grow older before I'm supposed to that. I know many people have gone through worse than I have. But I'm not sure how much of what I've gone through recently can be considered a normal part of life in general.

All I know is that it is only by God's sheer grace and love that I am still here... that my heart still beats, that I still can feel. For a while I thought that I was numb.


Today there was blinding anger.
Then there was peace and resignation.
Charles Darwin once said in the survival of the species, it is not the strongest nor the most intelligent who carry on, but the most adaptable.
I'd like to think that I am adaptable... tenacious.
It would be so easy to simply surrender - to become a victim.
But I cannot.
It would be traitorous to who I know I am, and who I know I can/should be.


So the time has come for certain issues to be resolved, and for dreams to be rekindled.
And once the anger and pain has subsided, the dull ache remaining, the heart is once again able to hope - the spirit revived, the mind clear and free.

Oh to receive such moments of clarity in life
-- few and far between they are, but ever so precious and valuable.