Fighting For Optimism - (once again) Happiness IS a Choice!

Recently several people have told me that I encourage them by being a positive, optimistic, happy person.

Why do you think this blog is called just that - Happiness is a Choice!

I feel like I've paid a high price for this joy... yet in a way, I paid nothing at all for it.
Why?


First of all, I'm not stupid happy.
You know - the kind of bubblegum, airheaded happiness... that's not for me.
I'm deliberately happy.
The kind of happiness that comes from experiencing the bitterness in life yet learning to overcome in wisdom and love.

Being happy doesn't mean that I smile all the time or that I always feel happy.
It just means that I've learned to be aware of how situations and experiences make me feel, allow myself the time and leeway to have those feelings, and then consciously make a choice to leave any unhappiness aside and be happy.


Every day... yes, EVERY SINGLE DAY I choose to be happy.
I repeat these thoughts to myself.
I emphasize them to my students.
I write them in my blog.

And strangely enough, where I would have failed in the past to create this deliberate happiness, I now know that it is possible - because ALL things are possible through Him that strengthens me.



I would say that my turning point was that fateful Sunday when my brother's body was found.

When the news came, my world turned into a silent scream.
It was strange because everyone else reacted quite fast... but I felt like I was swimming through a muddy haze and all my thoughts were coming at me at once and yet in slow motion.

Through the mud, came one single clear thought:
What kind of person will this experience make me?

I realized with stunning clarity that I had every excuse, opportunity and reason to hate God and to hate life. And yet, I didn't want to.
In a strange vision, I saw the rest of my life stretched out in front of me - stretched out long, lonely and painful... the way it would never do so for my brother.

And suddenly I came to a decision.

I begged God in my heart to heal me.
I wanted love, peace, and joy... not bitterness, resentment, anger, and hate.
I called out for Him and He came.
It was as if something scooped out my inner demons (the demons of anger and discontentment that had tortured me for years) and freed me.

Of course, this isn't some fairy tale - no, I did not immediately receive relief and joy.
It has been a slow painful process of learning to let go of myself... an ongoing process still.
And yet surprisingly, with each letting go, I feel lighter and yes, happier.



So these days... happiness, for me, is a choice.
I don't need to wait to receive what I want to receive happiness.
I am learning to give up wanting and just to be content with the bountiful blessings already bestowed upon me.

I try to learn and retain gratefulness and thankfulness and an openness to keep learning.
Each day I myself surrender to Him - laying down my ideas of what I think will make me happy and letting Him show me what can truly make me happy instead.





Yes.
Happiness is a choice.
But it is also a Gift.

Praise Him for this wonderful gift that is available to all who want it.