Hello, how are you?

I'm fine, thank you. And you?




Pleasantries....

Sometimes I really hate pleasantries.
They're just so cursory and meaningless.
Of course when it's said between 2 mere acquaintances, it helps minimize awkwardness.

Maybe I'm just too honest.
I don't see a point in putting up pretenses... despite how I know sometimes those walls are there to protect us.

Maybe I've been "damaged" by the performer in me - where I feel the need to express truth and honesty in my actions, words, and music.... else I become just another shiny manufactured product.




Along with pleasantries are those oft-asked questions such as
Where are you from?
What is your occupation?
Do you have any siblings?

I still have issues with the last question.
Not because I don't want to tell them about my wonderful brother... but just cuz there's a kind of conflict in me - unsure of whether to launch into the whole story, or just be technically honest and say I don't have siblings (anymore - which, when I say that... I feel like stabbing myself for the betrayal).
Either way... whenever I'm asked that question, my heart skips a beat and my response can be pretty automatic and perfunctory.





It's been more than a year... and though this is the reality of my life, sometimes I can't really believe it myself.

I miss him.