I feel wretched coming back here to school… I can't focus on schoolwork…. The ache in my heart is too distracting.
The last week has undoubtedly been the longest week in my life… and also the most surreal. I feel as if I'm in a dream, floating through daily routines like eating, sleeping, talking, walking… I feel so incomplete. Coming back here, everything seems unchanged around me… it's as if I don't fit it… this turmoil inside of me makes me feel like an outsider to my own life.
And through it all, I feel His voice reassuring me that it'll be alright.
Lord… I'm trying hard to let go, to trust You.
Please take my hand.
Please give me Your peace, Your strength, Your wisdom.
For those of us whom Reuben left behind… there's a huge gaping void in our hearts and in our lives, and it just doesn't feel right. But we know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."
"..in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any power, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
~Quotations from the Bible – Romans 8:26 and 8: 26-27 and 8:37-38~
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